Me, still in my morning robe, trying on my newly finished headpiece. It took a couple of weeks to design and make it - and it fits! I imagine being out on the dance floor. The night taking me in with its dark, cold arms. The lights reflecting on my crown like a thousand stars. The heat of the moment fueling me. I am thinking of my father. Since the day he left us I was not able to trust anybody. Not even myself.
Me, sitting at my desk in the office. Everything is aligned well on the table. My hair is done the way I like it and the shirt you got me last week fits just right. It was hard to get through the interview process. This job will allow us to start a family and my parents will be proud of me at last.
Me, in the rain on our trip through New Zealand. It is cold and I am happy that I insisted on packing the rain jackets. I can taste the salty air and the wind is pushing drops of rain onto my face. Did you know you are the best thing that happened to me in a long time? Every day I wake up and hope the storms of life, with its waves and currents, will not make us break apart.
Me, at the zoo with my favorite girls. We are enjoying the warmth of spring together. And share the day, our joy and our laughter as we walk towards the monkey cages. Almost like a troop of monkeys ourselves. Today I thought of you. How you would have looked like. How you would have smelled. How you would have laid in my arms. If only I could turn back time.
Me, at the beach with my freshly painted toes touching the warm sand. The waves washing ashore in their eternal rhythm. Dolphins played not too far from where I was sitting before; carrying away all my worries and fears. The setting sun bathes everything in a warm and golden light as the day makes way for the coming night. My happy place is here. My happy place is now.
Me, at the store in the checkout line. I am sporting my new sweater and the pendant I found at the flea market a couple of months ago. I am shopping for the dinner we will cook tonight. I ate alone for most of my life. Now I will eat with you.
Me, with sleepy eyes on our couch. Another Saturday evening at home with friends. I tried to get comfortable a while ago but they don’t care and run their usual routine of cuddling, crawling over each other and making funny faces. My mind starts to wander as I am slowly drifting off. Dreaming of a red ball of yarn. Meow.
Me, in the backyard of our house just coming back from the city. I am tired and know there are lots of messages from my clients waiting for me to answer. My wife is hugging me. I cherish her warmth and for a moment all the small worries of life disappear. The fight with her cancer has begun.
Me, on a side street with my girlfriend. We are on the last leg of a long trip. We grew together, let the sunshine kiss our faces and let sweet smells of foreign flowers tickle our noses. My eyes with a glimmer in them that they never had before. I want her to be the mother of my children.
Me, skyping with my dad and mom. I am sitting alone in my room. White sheets, white walls, far away from home. My sister jumped into the picture wishing me a happy birthday with a big smile. They make me laugh. I feel light and alive for the first time in weeks.