A New Day



Me, watching the sun rise behind the trees.
A cup of tea and my woolen sweater are giving me warmth.

I think about when we first met.
You sang me sweet songs of love.

But not the sweetest song could ever
describe the feelings that I hold for you since.

The things I remember.

There was that one time, you softly touched my feet with yours,
and my whole body still feels the current
flowing through you and me.

Here I am. Again humming these sweet songs of love.

And I wonder what we might have become.

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Every Day



Me, on a normal Wednesday evening. I am wearing the earrings my mom gave me last Christmas. After getting home from work, I browsed Facebook to see what’s up with my friends. I almost forgot it is my niece’s birthday - the pictures from her party look wonderful with all the family there. Dinner should get here soon and I will probably watch some TV to relax. I have been off my medications for three weeks now. I struggle every single day.

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Lovers



Me, with my lover on a sunny afternoon. She is amazing. I feel amazing. We just came back from the lake in the valley where we swam and played. Where I felt her warm skin on mine and her breath when we whispered sweet things into each other’s ear.

We talked about me moving in.

She and her husband have a farm together with one of her husband’s lovers. I am excited that they invited me to join their lives.

There is no way around it now. Tomorrow I will try to explain everything to my parents.

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Sweat



Me, feeling strong. Feeling energized. Feeling like the day was worth living for. I sweat and have a deep rumbling smile. We got our skateboards out and rode all afternoon. I am thinking back to when I was a teenager and it was OK to play and fool around. When it was OK to simply be. Sometimes I wonder why we let our inner children die.

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Armor



Me, checking my makeup one last time before I go on stage. I am wearing one of my old costumes. The one with the copper headdress. Time stands still while I look at myself in the mirror. If my father could see me now he would weep in joy. A strong woman. A woman without fear. Nobody knows how long it took me to forget the pains of my childhood. Nobody knows they still haunt me at night.

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My Crown



Me, still in my morning robe, trying on my newly finished headpiece. It took a couple of weeks to design and make it - and it fits! I imagine being out on the dance floor. The night taking me in with its dark, cold arms. The lights reflecting on my crown like a thousand stars. The heat of the moment fueling me. I am thinking of my father. Since the day he left us I was not able to trust anybody. Not even myself.

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At My Desk



Me, sitting at my desk in the office. Everything is aligned well on the table. My hair is done the way I like it and the shirt you got me last week fits just right. It was hard to get through the interview process. This job will allow us to start a family and my parents will be proud of me at last.

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Like Drops of Rain



Me, in the rain on our trip through New Zealand. It is cold and I am happy that I insisted on packing the rain jackets. I can taste the salty air and the wind is pushing drops of rain onto my face. Did you know you are the best thing that happened to me in a long time? Every day I wake up and hope the storms of life, with its waves and currents, will not make us break apart.

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At The Zoo



Me, at the zoo with my favorite girls. We are enjoying the warmth of spring together. And share the day, our joy and our laughter as we walk towards the monkey cages. Almost like a troop of monkeys ourselves. Today I thought of you. How you would have looked like. How you would have smelled. How you would have laid in my arms. If only I could turn back time.

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Happy Place



Me, at the beach with my freshly painted toes touching the warm sand. The waves washing ashore in their eternal rhythm. Dolphins played not too far from where I was sitting before; carrying away all my worries and fears. The setting sun bathes everything in a warm and golden light as the day makes way for the coming night. My happy place is here. My happy place is now.

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